Rater Commentary for Essay Response — Score 5
The assumptions that are major are:
- that a survey can predict behavior accurately
- that cleaning the river will, by itself, increase usage that is recreational
- that state plans to wash the river will be realized actually
- that Mason City are able to invest more about riverside facilities that are recreational
Help within each paragraph is actually thoughtful and thorough. As an example, paragraph 2 points out vagueness into the wording associated with the study: Even in the event water sports ranking on the list of favorite recreational use of Mason City residents, other activities may be far more popular. Hence, in the event that assumption that is first unwarranted, the argument to invest in riverside facilities — in place of soccer industries or golf courses — becomes much weaker. Paragraph 4 considers reasons that are several river clean-up plans may possibly not be effective (the plans might be only campaign claims or capital may possibly not be sufficient). Hence, the weakness associated with the assumption that is third the argument that river entertainment will increase and riverside improvements will undoubtedly be required after all.
Rather than dismissing each presumption in isolation, this reaction places them in a rational order and considers their connections. Note the transitions that are appropriate and within paragraphs, making clear backlinks on the list of presumptions ( ag e.g., “Closely for this studies …” or “the solution to this concern calls for. “).
Along side strong development, this reaction additionally shows center with language. Minor errors in punctuation can be found, but term alternatives are apt and sentences suitably diverse in pattern and size.